i need help

[Philippa]

I'm really feeling down about myself at the moment. I once had the confidence when i was 2nd best girl in my swimming club at long distance , but ever since then i have been going through a bad patch.
I'm doing rubbish times and many people are beating me in training and in galas, when as before i was doing well.
I feel even my coach has gone against me putting me down a lane as before she put me up a lane.
I'm having a bad time in training even some 12 year olds are beating me and i'm only 14 one even said to me i'm a rubbish swimmer because he was beating me when i'm 14.
I'm getting right at the edge at the moment with my swimming, i haven't even made any southern county times yet while everyone else is. I'm starting to think i won't have a chance in the future i might as well give up coz i am 14.
I made my first Essex time when i was 13. I'm getting very upset at the moment.
I'm just wondering if theres alot on my mind i get bullied at school, and theres a boy in my swimming club whom i've got an enormous crush on.
I really need help. Please help me.:confused:

[James S]

I am sorry you are feeling so down at the moment Philippa.

Have you spoken to your coach about how you are feeling? She may not even know you feel this way. I have had loads of swimmers (especially girls about your age) go through exactly what you are describing.

There are several different things which could be having an effect on your performance in training and in competition. As I don't know you, i can't say for sure but at your age, your body may be going/have gone through loads of changes. Use this time to practise your skills instead of powering up and down the pool. Make sure you are doing everything as well as you can be (strokes, turns, work off wall etc) so when your body is ready to train again properly, you have a great advantage.

There are a lot of things going on in your mind and yes they will all be having a big effect on you. Not just your swimming though. Have you told anyone about how you are feeling? You should never have to put up with bullying.

Please remember swimusa's catchphrase (I don't know if you have seen it) "Smile, for you are amazing!" You don't deserve to be put down by other people.

Speak to someone. They might be able to help straighten your thoughts out.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Enjoy swimming. Things will turn round for you.

[Philippa]

Thank you for replying James.

I have tried talking to my coaches. One understood but the chief coach showed me up in front of some of the club and said,
"Oh i better put you up a lane or you will just sulk" i felt so upset, i just made out to team members that i didn't have a clue what she was on about.
In training my legs and arms feel sometimes difficult to move they feel aching with pain.
I am what you could say a late developer, it has taken me ages to get my technique right and it still been unsuccessful.
I have told my coaches and they told me they can only do one step at a time.
I have watched many girls in my swimming club grab their confidence and techniques on all strokes, i just happen not to be one.

[Kaci]

Maybe you just need a break from swimming for a while, like over the summer. Go on holiday and clear you head from all the worries you have then come back fresh. You can keep your fitness levels up by going to the gym or running. Then come back after the summer just as fit but with a lot more confidence in yourself.

Being moved down a lane isn't a big deal, you just have to prove to them that you shouldn't be in that lane and therefore work twice as hard.

Everyone goes through bad patches like me (read problem) the thing is you have to carry on going, and ignore those who laugh at you but laugh at them when there a bit older when they are at their plateau. :idea:

[Julia]

Originally posted by James S
I am sorry you are feeling so down at the moment Philippa.

At your age, your body may be going/have gone through loads of changes.

Have you told anyone about how you are feeling? You should never have to put up with bullying.

Many girls have gone through the same experience as you. What has helped them is changing to another club. New coach and new friends.
Please speak to someone about the bullying. A problem shared is a problem halved.
As a Child Protection Co-ordinator for the south, if you would like to send a private message, I will try and help.:)

[nsswimmer]

phillipa, i could've written the same thing a few months ago. there is this one 11 year old boy who works incredibly hard, he's nearly in tears by the time practice is over because he works so hard. his times are nearly the same as mine, although he is 2 years younger than me and is about a foot shorter than me. at first i felt really bad about myself; what was wrong with me? why was i going so slow?? then i kinda looked at it objectively and realized that there was nothing wrong with this boy being faster than me in some events, as long as I was doing my best. just keep working as hard as you can; it will pay off. it must be hurtful to have those bullies throw cruel remarks like that at you. either try to ignore it or, as martin luther king jr. sed, "Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." maybe you could try being the stronger person here. hold your head with dignity and just keep doing your best. i know you can!! also, maybe, it's also a physical thing as well as an emotional thing. i would take a few days off if i were you, to refresh my muscles as well as my mind. you will probably come bak with new confidence, ready to kick some as...uh, i mean butt :p good luck phillipa!! we're all rooting for you!!!

[Philippa]

Thankyou all very much for the replies, they have all put a smile on my face.
Thanks for all your support everyone, i hope your advice will work.
With a nice crowd like you all there is no doubt about it.
To Kaci, if anything does go wrong i will send you a private message, thanks for the offer!
Love you all, and thanx, Philippa xxx:)