It was my intention to be controversial, I was in one of my sarcy moods, and was hoping for a better response, but there's still time.
Parents (and even some coaches) do not understand the importance of the relationship between swimmer and coach, and that can take any form (within reason), if it helps the swimmer be a better swimmer. Some swimmers need a kick up the arse, some need a comforting arm round the shoulder, some need to be left alone, some need to be told they have only let themselves down, and some need to be made to feel guilty and they have let the coach down.
There isn't a one fit rule for all, it's what works for the swimmer/coach.

Hey Bully. I understand what you mean regards letting the coach down. I don't think it translated very well.