How common is bullying in swimming clubs?

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:01 PM

My daughter, who is 11, has recently been moved up into the top group of her swimming club after some fairly good swims and a major improvement in the 800m timed swim.

She has though started to suffer bullying from girls older, but not as fast, as her.

Is this a common occurence? I have made representations to the coaching team who are, to be fair, looking into things and are already taking steps to improve general discipline

Bully · 15-12-2008, 01:21 PM

Sadly jealousy is a vile human trait, and I support you in bringing this to the coaches attention, no matter what, you must defend your daughter and anyone else who is subjected to bullying.

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:22 PM

Well cricket (my own sport) isn't too bad, but I guess that may be because you all tend to be on the field together when fielding etc, whereas in swimming the more individual nature is there.

My daughter has progressed pretty quickly in the last year or so and has become a bit of a large fish in a big pool I guess in her age group and is therefore there to be shot at I guess, but stil seems a trifle unfair - one of the problem girls said to her last week " get i before I am halfway and you're dead" - I guess as although almost 2 years younger she's much quicker.

Ho hum - if the club doesn't sort itout I suspect she'll get fedup and leave, going to one of the stronger clubs in the county

Gina · 15-12-2008, 01:26 PM

You always get some kind of verbal bullying especially with girls. I've had my share given to me by girls who tried to put me down. I had it at school too. When it's small things like girls commenting on the odd things about a person (I had a lot of comments about my skin being so white I was like an alien, I had people call me anorexic a lot, the fact that all my friends were boy got me a lot of stick).

At swimming the girls I started beating would comment on how tall, skinny, flat chested, spotty etc I was and I was told that X girl was faster than me and she was going to make the Olympics as she was so good. Just little put down remarks to make themselves feel better because they'd made me feel so bad. I was lucky though as it was just words and not physical. I don't think anyone would have pick a fight with me! My mum always told me to just ignore the bullying and it would go away. It did and I am a lot stronger now.

Apostle · 15-12-2008, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taxing

Well cricket (my own sport) isn't too bad, but I guess that may be because you all tend to be on the field together when fielding etc, whereas in swimming the more individual nature is there.

My daughter has progressed pretty quickly in the last year or so and has become a bit of a large fish in a big pool I guess in her age group and is therefore there to be shot at I guess, but stil seems a trifle unfair - one of the problem girls said to her last week " get i before I am halfway and you're dead" - I guess as although almost 2 years younger she's much quicker.

Ho hum - if the club doesn't sort itout I suspect she'll get fedup and leave, going to one of the stronger clubs in the county

I'd say that Cricket has a fairly bad name for Bullying (Sledging) someone at the crease.

Bully · 15-12-2008, 01:30 PM

She's 11 and has been moved in to your top squad already?
What ages do the swimmers range from in this Top Squad, and how many are their in it?

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:31 PM

We've told her pretty much the same Gina, and in fact to use the nastiness and chanel it so as to train harder etc.

If she doesn't react they'll be the ones getting frustrated, especially if she improves faster than them and the like.

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bully

She's 11 and has been moved in to your top squad already?
What ages do the swimmers range from in this Top Squad, and how many are their in it?

It's a fairly junior club, but the top group's ages range from 11 (my daughter) a few 12's and 13's with the rest being generally 14-19

Considering she didn't start competitively until almost 9, she's done pretty well I think almost down to county qualifying times for 50 free, fly and back.

Gina · 15-12-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bully

She's 11 and has been moved in to your top squad already?
What ages do the swimmers range from in this Top Squad, and how many are their in it?

I was thinking the same thing about an 11 year old being in the top squad already. Ours has a few 15 year olds but that is it. Everyone is 16+.

You're comment above about what the older girl said to you daughter was probably a shock to her but the older girl sounds more scared and imtimidated by your daughter and her swimming ability.

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:35 PM

Oh and as for numbers, I guess that there are around 30 spread over 3 lanes

Bully · 15-12-2008, 01:41 PM

Well I do not see the benefit of moving such a young swimmer in to the Top Squad so soon, where is the development? what are her targets for the next few years?
Sorry nothing to do with the bullying problem (or is it?), just couldn't let it go without saying something.
I'm not a believer in burying your head in the sand in the hope your problems go away, it may work for one, until someone else takes their place.

noeyedear · 15-12-2008, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taxing

Oh and as for numbers, I guess that there are around 30 spread over 3 lanes

is that 30 all together or 30 in the top squad ?

noeyedear · 15-12-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bully

Well I do not see the benefit of moving such a young swimmer in to the Top Squad so soon, where is the development? what are her targets for the next few years?
Sorry nothing to do with the bullying problem (or is it?), just couldn't let it go without saying something.
I'm not a believer in burying your head in the sand in the hope your problems go away, it may work for one, until someone else takes their place.

i guess the top squad is the top x % of swimmers and not a pre-defined standard, my boy moved to the top squad when he was nine after about 4 months of training, if he'd stayed down then he would have no one to compare to and compete with so would probably have got pretty fed up by now. how many swimmers do you have at windsor bully ?

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:48 PM

No I agree bully, that's why I brought it up.

As she's in a rather junior club it's not uncommon for young swimmers to get to the top group, she actually ended up swimming in the open f/s relay in round 2 of the speedos when we took a rather young team as one of the 12 y's was too tired.

She will need to move clubs if she wants to develop further but that has to be her decision and we don't want to become the pushy parents you so often see making their kids do things - if she wants to do so, then fine. If she wants to just enjoy herself then that is fine with us.

I played county schools cricket and that was tough enough, it's really up to her to decide how far she wants to go (although last night she started asking to do extra training at the local pool outside of club hours! Yes she's quite keen.....)

Taxing · 15-12-2008, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noeyedear

is that 30 all together or 30 in the top squad ?

In the top training group.

Slightly longer training times as well, although there is an "elite" for want of a better word lane which is for the best 10 or so who train a bit longer than the rest

15-12-2008, 01:01 PM	#1
Taxing Established Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Kent Posts: 853	How common is bullying in swimming clubs? My daughter, who is 11, has recently been moved up into the top group of her swimming club after some fairly good swims and a major improvement in the 800m timed swim. She has though started to suffer bullying from girls older, but not as fast, as her. Is this a common occurence? I have made representations to the coaching team who are, to be fair, looking into things and are already taking steps to improve general discipline

15-12-2008, 01:21 PM	#2
Bully I want to live forever, so far so good! Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4,165	Sadly jealousy is a vile human trait, and I support you in bringing this to the coaches attention, no matter what, you must defend your daughter and anyone else who is subjected to bullying. __________________ BRING BACK THE JUICE

15-12-2008, 01:30 PM	#6
Bully I want to live forever, so far so good! Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4,165	She's 11 and has been moved in to your top squad already? What ages do the swimmers range from in this Top Squad, and how many are their in it? __________________ BRING BACK THE JUICE

15-12-2008, 01:41 PM	#11
Bully I want to live forever, so far so good! Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 4,165	Well I do not see the benefit of moving such a young swimmer in to the Top Squad so soon, where is the development? what are her targets for the next few years? Sorry nothing to do with the bullying problem (or is it?), just couldn't let it go without saying something. I'm not a believer in burying your head in the sand in the hope your problems go away, it may work for one, until someone else takes their place. __________________ BRING BACK THE JUICE

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15-12-2008, 01:22 PM	#3
Taxing Established Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Kent Posts: 853	Well cricket (my own sport) isn't too bad, but I guess that may be because you all tend to be on the field together when fielding etc, whereas in swimming the more individual nature is there. My daughter has progressed pretty quickly in the last year or so and has become a bit of a large fish in a big pool I guess in her age group and is therefore there to be shot at I guess, but stil seems a trifle unfair - one of the problem girls said to her last week " get i before I am halfway and you're dead" - I guess as although almost 2 years younger she's much quicker. Ho hum - if the club doesn't sort itout I suspect she'll get fedup and leave, going to one of the stronger clubs in the county

15-12-2008, 01:26 PM	#4
Gina Registered User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: London Posts: 2,061	You always get some kind of verbal bullying especially with girls. I've had my share given to me by girls who tried to put me down. I had it at school too. When it's small things like girls commenting on the odd things about a person (I had a lot of comments about my skin being so white I was like an alien, I had people call me anorexic a lot, the fact that all my friends were boy got me a lot of stick). At swimming the girls I started beating would comment on how tall, skinny, flat chested, spotty etc I was and I was told that X girl was faster than me and she was going to make the Olympics as she was so good. Just little put down remarks to make themselves feel better because they'd made me feel so bad. I was lucky though as it was just words and not physical. I don't think anyone would have pick a fight with me! My mum always told me to just ignore the bullying and it would go away. It did and I am a lot stronger now.

15-12-2008, 01:31 PM	#7
Taxing Established Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Kent Posts: 853	We've told her pretty much the same Gina, and in fact to use the nastiness and chanel it so as to train harder etc. If she doesn't react they'll be the ones getting frustrated, especially if she improves faster than them and the like.

15-12-2008, 01:35 PM	#10
Taxing Established Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Kent Posts: 853	Oh and as for numbers, I guess that there are around 30 spread over 3 lanes

15-12-2008, 01:48 PM	#14
Taxing Established Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Kent Posts: 853	No I agree bully, that's why I brought it up. As she's in a rather junior club it's not uncommon for young swimmers to get to the top group, she actually ended up swimming in the open f/s relay in round 2 of the speedos when we took a rather young team as one of the 12 y's was too tired. She will need to move clubs if she wants to develop further but that has to be her decision and we don't want to become the pushy parents you so often see making their kids do things - if she wants to do so, then fine. If she wants to just enjoy herself then that is fine with us. I played county schools cricket and that was tough enough, it's really up to her to decide how far she wants to go (although last night she started asking to do extra training at the local pool outside of club hours! Yes she's quite keen.....)

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